Understanding.

I think I'm terrified by potential, by the possibility of being different.  Of clarifying my version of success.  Of growing up and out and onwards, and stepping into my unknown.  I know that living a life in suburbia won't give me that deep sense of contentment that I search for.  I'm scared because I have so much freedom right now to truly shape my future and it feels daunting.  Once again I'm in that analysis paralysis where I think think think instead of do do do.

I know some things that I want, so maybe it will help to clarify them.
I want health and happiness.
I want to find fulfilling employment.
I want to design a life that has space for excellent food and raising a family.
I want to forever be a student of this world, these people, these experiences.
I want to be humble, curious, grateful, gracious, adventurous.
I want to be able to take long-term approaches to most things.
I want to learn how to farm.
I want to learn.
I want to take people as they are without trying to change them or mold them into someone else.
I want to continually work on myself while realizing that I am good enough as I am.
I want to be fluent in more than one language.
I want to find peace with myself - my decisions, my successes, my failures.
I want to cultivate patience and understanding.